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Everything is Mucked

It is all meaningless, isn’t it!

Our home has completed yet one more circle around the big ball of fire, and it’s time to celebrate that achievement! Even if it has nothing to do with our own achievement but why not do what everyone does, and live with the fear of missing out. Isn’t that most of the holidays are about anyways…? Bare truth be told, all the holidays are about that. The rush of doing things because, if not now, then when.., after all?

The world has become less darker but there are still genocides happening because a bunch of people decided that their god is more powerful than the other’s, and that it is okay to kill children in the name of patriotism, and that nationalism justifies wars! Nothing can ever justify war. Nothing can ever justify killing of innocents, even in the name of collateral damage for a bigger cause.

While physical safety is paramount for a human being, mental, emotional and financial safety is equally important. Just because I look okay doesn’t necessarily mean that I am doing okay! Would be good to see a world with less cunning, sly, and dishonest people.

On a personal note, I haven’t really had any achievements other than getting my driver’s license this year, especially  living in the Middle East where getting a license to drive is as hard as passing your NEET with your desired grades at the first attempt (I got my license at the 3rd attempt). I also managed to read 9 books, and presently two timing between a fiction and a non fiction, if I can call that as an achievement (not the two timing). I have always kept, supporting my parents, as a top of the list priority, and I was able to get a car for them this year, which made me feel like a good daughter (I have a psychological need to please my loved ones). At the bottom of my list, is my itch to become a pilot. It was at the top of my list in the beginning of the year, but by the end of 2023, my hyper realistic and practical mind kind of succeeded to convince me that it’s a dream too big to handle. That it will consume my entire circumstances. That it’s almost foolish to give up one’s entire life savings (and some more) to chase a dream that might or might not bring the illusion of happiness and a sense of ultimate accomplishment that I have ever wished for. (Being a pilot is one of the most expensive courses in the world, just FYI). My itch has gotten less intense, however it is still there, consuming a small part of my mind, silently making me feel a plethora of mixed emotions every once in a while.

Truth be told, I am ending the year with a mixed feeling of ‘settling down’ and ‘being realistic’, and ‘money is not everything’ mind state. But May be that’s what being an adult is all about!

So, here’s to another year of being a nobody with unfulfilled dreams!

Happy (or not) New Year!

Yours truly,

The stoic blogger

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